“How do you do what you do?” someone asked me recently. “With everything that has happened to you, how do you continue being positive? Sometimes, I feel like I have to take on the world by myself, blind.”

My response may help someone else.

If I didn’t believe that the universe has an ordered plan for my life, perhaps, my outlook on life would be different, less positive. Likely, this is why religion flourishes; structured dogma to process things that are unknown is more palatable than spirituality, which transcends the little boxes into which we have placed an unfathomable God. Regardless, people who think everything is just randomly happening without that “God factor” fascinate me. The very concept of hope – the essence of life’s motivation – is grounded in the belief that there is a force more powerful than ourselves constantly creating order out of chaos and balancing the scales of justice. There is no hope without God.

I choose, therefore, to trust that my life has greater purpose than whatever my present circumstances may be. Even if you don’t know exactly what that purpose is yet, there is much peace in knowing that there is an overarching plan, and that everything you go through – victories, defeats, failures – is preparing you for manifest destiny. What’s more, who you are at your core has nothing to do with your circumstances! You are not the house you live in, the car you drive, or the money you have in the bank. Therefore, practice mindfulness – keep reminding yourself – that what you’re going through is temporary and that the people who are there for you, the ones who truly matter, know this.

The very concept of hope – the essence of life’s motivation – is grounded in the belief that there is a force more powerful than ourselves constantly creating order out of chaos and balancing the scales of justice.

I focus more now, too, on why the challenge – the lesson(s) I am to learn from each. Life is the teacher; you, the mere student. Therefore, the faster you learn, the faster you advance to the next stage of your journey. Moreover, you are never alone in your struggles. Even if your family isn’t supportive – painful though that may be – think, instead, that they may not be what you need! People give birth to us for unique DNA to be deposited. Not all are meant to help guide us on our journey because they themselves may be ill-equipped or lost. Part of our emancipation into adulthood and as free spirits comes from that understanding; we came through them, or are connected to them, but we are here to fulfill a unique destiny that may not align with their approval.

Albert Einstein famously said, “Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” God is always at work – to place the right people at the right time (and to remove some); to equip you with the resources you need (on time). If they’re not there yet, you don’t need them. Ultimately, life aims to teach us spiritual intangibles: Character. Integrity. Honor. Respect. Humility. Wisdom. If you miss the lesson, she will take you around the same block until you don’t. There are no short cuts to elevate consciousness. Therefore, open your real eyes.

People give birth to us for unique DNA to be deposited. Not all are meant to help guide us on our journey because they themselves may be ill-equipped, or lost.

Furthermore, disconnect from this notion that life is about amassing money. The quicker you do is the happier you’ll be. Of course, money is important for the satisfaction of needs and comfort, but extraordinary wealth should be the byproduct of a goal that advances the common good. Far more important is influence; setting the right example; making a positive contribution to humanity. Ask Mark Zuckerberg, or Bill Gates…or Oprah.

For sure, I wouldn’t have consciously chosen all the hardships that life has dished; the sauce on the side alone was harsh to swallow. But now, I realize that it has equipped me to help others; to have compassion and empathy. Those are not characteristics that people acquire when times are great. Yet, those are among the real qualities that make people great. Donald Trump’s life, for example, may have been supremely comfortable – money makes most hardships far more bearable – but he is now one of the most despised men in the world!

Money is important for the satisfaction of needs and comfort, but extraordinary wealth should be the byproduct of a goal that advances the common good. Far more important is influence.

In retrospect, I believe, too, that some of the things I have endured were not all about me. Without some of the hardships, perhaps my daughters wouldn’t be as appreciative of what they have, as sensitive to other people’s circumstances, or as willing to serve others. No, my “hothouse roses” are blooming; the “climate” has been critical to their growth and development.

There are many, many good qualities in all of us. Often, what we lack are proper mentors who are worthy of respect; guides, who understand that our destination is not a place, or even the manifestation of a dream. It is you. Indeed, you can change jobs, houses, cars, wives, husbands, even dreams, but what you bring to every circumstance is you. Which is why many new beginnings falter; circumstances never change until you do.

Our destination is not a place, or even the manifestation of a dream. It is you.

Therefore, keep your faith in your life’s journey. Life breaks us to make us. You’ll still be a “work in progress” even when you get old. So, don’t be so hard on yourself. Breathe.

Life may be a bitch…but that bitch is good.
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